lifornia 
onal 


HE  LEN-ROWLAN 


THE  LIBRARY 

OF 

THE  UNIVERSITY 
OF  CALIFORNIA 

LOS  ANGELES 


PROMISED  TO  PAY  A  WOMAN'S  BILLS  FOR  LIFE. 


BY-HELEN-  ROWLFNND 

DECORATIONS  oooo  BYoooo  MAROLOoooo  SPCftK/^AN 


nDDGL    PUBLISHING 
N  i  w     y  o  fc 


COPYRIGHT  1915  BY 
DODGE  PUBLISHING  COMPANY 


TO 

MY  HUSBAND 
WILLIAM  HILL-BRERETON 

THIS  LITTLE  BOOK  IS  AFFECTIONATELY 
DEDICATED 


665990 


QO°O 


AKE !  For  the  Spring  has  scat 
tered  into  flight 
The  Vows  of  Lent,  and  bids  the 

heart  be  light. 
Bring  on  the  Roast,  and  take 

the  Fish  away ! 

The  Season  calls— and  Woman's 
eyes  are  bright  1 


fe 

^  1\°& 

°°p 

a 


B 


0 


s 


0 

s 


EFORE  the  phantom  of  Pale 

Winter  died, 
Methought  the  Voice  of  Spring 

within  me  cried, 
"  When  Hymen's  rose-decked 

altars  glow  within, 
Why  nods  the  laggard  Bachelor 
outside?" 


o 


ND,  at  the  Signal,  I  who  stood 

before 
In  idle  musing,  shouted,  "Say  no 

more! 
You  know  how  little  while 

we  have  to  Love — 
And  Love's  light  Hand  is  knock 
ing  at  the  door!" 


o 


e&cs 


0 


C3C 


ICQ 


OW,  the  New  Moon  reviving 

old  desires, 
The  gallant  Youth  to  Sentiment 

aspires ; 
And  ere  he  saunters  forth  on 

conquest  bent, 

Himself,    like    unto     Solomon, 
attires. 


HIS  WINTER  GARMENTS  HUNG— WHERE,  NO  ONE  KNOWS ! 


o 


OW  blithely  through  the  smil- 


o 


JP* 

o^tfOO 
ojuf  <£ 


ing  throng  he  goes,  A   ^j]  \ 

K  K/Jyi      ***s  Winter   garments   hung —  PSi6° 

J^o^o  where,  no  one  knows!  ^If^ 

A  Symphony  in  radiant  scarfs  OMJ\ 

and  hose,  ^  ^JJ 

^      Wrought   t'inspire   a   maiden's  ^^^V 

"Ah's!"  and  "Oh's!"  ^T°^ 


I 


0    a 
tiP 


0 


G) 


NTO  a  new  Flirtation,  why  not 

knowing, 
Nor  whence,  his  heart  with  mad 
ness  overflowing; 
Then  out  of  it—and  thence, 

without  a  pause, 
Into  another,  willy-nilly  blowing. 


HAT  if  the  conscience  feel,  per 
chance,  a  sting? 
No  danger  waits  him — save  the 

Wedding  Ringt 
A  Kiss  is  not  the  sin   that 

yesterday 

It  was — for  that  was  Lent,  and 
this  is  Spring! 


[15] 


o 


C3C 


OME  simple  ones  may  sigh  for 

wealth  or  fame, 

And  some,  for  the  sweet  Domes 
tic  Life,  and  tame; 
But  ah!  give  me  a  supper,  a 

cigar, 

A  charming  Woman — and  the 
old  Love-Game! 


•e- 


o 

a 

~iOi 

ftu> 

°^( 


$$° 

•°Vo 


OME  blue  points  on  the  half- 
shell,  in  a  row, 
Some  iced  champagne,  a  melt 
ing  bird— and  Thou 
Beside  me  flirting,  'neath  a 

picture  hat— 

Oh,    single   life   were   Paradise 
enow! 


PJ 
"3>3sw 
^S? 

W 


S°A 


0 


COZY-CORNER  tete-a-tSte 
what  bliss! 


0       A   murmured   word,   a   sigh,  a 

stolen  kiss— 

Ah,  tell  me,  does  the  Prom 
ised  Paradise 

Hold  anything  one-half  so  sweet 
as  this? 


89? 

fA 


ND  yet,  since  I  am  made  of 

common  clay, 
One  charm  I'd  add  to  this  divine 

array ; 
Lord   make  me  careful,  and 

whatever  betide, 

Without  proposing,  let  me  slip 
awayl 


CO 


OR,  some  I've  known,  the  brav 
est  and  the  best, 
Who  laughed  at  Love,  as  but  an 

idle  jest, 
Have,   one   by   one,   walked 

straight  into  the  Net, 
Helpless,  before  the  Cozy  Corner 
test! 


$&/ 


0 


o 

0. 


§ 

W, 


HUS,  oft,  beside  some  damsel 

fond  and  fair, 
I've  sat,  thrilled  by  the  perfume 

of  her  hair, 

And  madly  longed  to  mur 
mur,  lip-to-lip, 

"Beloved,  marry  me!"— but  did 
not  dare! 


& 

^  yi°^ 

OO^Oo 

^> 


OR  some  I've  wooed,  when  I 

felt  blithe  and  gay, 
Have  looked  so  different,  when 

we  met  next  day, 
That  I  have  simply  stopped 

to  say,  "  So  charmed ! " 
And  shuddering,  sped  hurriedly 
away  1 


0 


> 
60 

O 


OOK  to  the  Married  Men !  Alas, 

their  gains 
Are  neither  here  nor  there,  for  all 

their  pains. 
For  wedding  bells  are  rung— 

and  loudly  rung 

To  drown  the  clanking  of  the 
Marriage  Chains  ! 


093! 


[23] 


P°rr 

M- 

oO 


o 


Co 


cac 


MOMENT'S  halt— a  little  word 

or  two — 
And  you  have  done  what  you 

can  ne'er  undo ; 
Promised  to  pay  a  Woman's 

bills  for  life— 

Anchored    yourself— and   there's 
an  end  of  you! 


A 


o 


o 


0% 

Wi00 

oOjUoo 


ND  we,  who  now  make  merry 

at  the  gloom 
Of  those  who  thus  have  gone  to 

meet  their  doom- 
May  we,  ourselves,  not  some 

day  follow  suit, 

Ourselves  to  be  the  Butt  of  jests 
—for  whom? 


ws 
m 

m 

^00 
oQ^o.O 


I 


S 


NDEED,   'tis    better   to  have 

loved  and  lost— 
J9      Taken  the  Kiss  and  fled,  at  any 

cost, 

Than  to  have  loved  and  mar 
ried,  and  for  aye, 
Thereafter,  by  a  IVoman,  to  be 
bossed. 


ITH   me,   along  that   strip   of 

Broadway  strewn 
With  lovely  maids,  each  radiant 

afternoon, 

And  think,  of  all  the  thou 
sands  you  behold, 
That  you  can  marry  one— and 
only  one! 


:QOV 


O 


[27] 


W 

coo 


IO-P1 


C3C 


UT,  if  the  lip  I  kiss,  the  hand  I 

press, 
Upon  the  morrow  seem  to  charm 

me  less, 
Ah   well,   am   I   not    still   a 

Bachelor, 

And  thus,  entitled  to— another 
Guess? 


SOME  FOR  THE  COMFORTS  OF  A  CLUB  MAY  SIGH. 


o 


o 


t&y 


OME  for  the  comforts  of  a  club 

may  sigh, 
And  some  for  a  hermit's  lonely 


.cTo^  life.     Not  I ! 

/.  r\u 

$&. 


00 


Give  me  a  cozy  hearthside, 

and  a  Girl 

t  VsJj  ^     Always  "at  home"  when  /  chance 
by! 


D 


H 


0 

ra® 


ER    cushioned    chair    a    spot 

where  I  may  curl 
My  weary  form,  and  rest,  beyond 

the  whirl 
Of  madd'ning  cares;   to  rise 

at  half-past  ten, 

And  call  next  night— upon  an 
other  girl  I 


0 


G 


HY,  if  a  man  can  thus,  at  ease, 

abide 

Each  evening  by  a  different  dam 
sel's  side, 
Were't  not  a  shame— were't 

not  a  shame,  for  him 
To  any  one,  forever  to  be  tied  ? 


o 


CJ 


5) 


C3C 


ND  so,  the  girls  I've  set  my 

heart  upon, 
I've  flattered,  wooed  a  little— and 

anon, 
Just  as  they  thought  to  slip 

the  fatal  Noose 

About  my  neck,  behold— the  Bird 
had  flown ! 


o 


OR  this  the  argument  that  I 

submit— 
Refute  it,  if  you  can,  with   all 

your  wit! 
That  Luck  in  Love,  for  such 

as  you  and  I, 

^  wiy      Consists  in  safely  keeping  out  of 
it! 


•$3°* 

C&oo 


oWo 

A 


TO** 
\Or»o  o 


D 


T 


HIS  morn,  I've  quaffed  at  least 

a  quart  or  more 

0      Of  water— yet  am  thirsty  as  be 
fore; 

And  that  dark  taste  still  lin 
gers  in  the  mouth 
With  which,  last  night,  I  refor 
mation  swore. 


SOME  ANGEL,  WITH  A  SAVING  DRINK. 


ET,  when  some  Angel,  with  a 

saving  drink 
Of  iced  Nepenthe  comes,  I  shall 

not  shrink; 
But,  having  drunk  of  it,  shall 

feel  again 

As  good  and  noble  as  before,  I 
think. 


o 


coc 


oc 


ACH  morn  some  fresh  repent 
ance  brings,  you  say  ? 

Yes— but  where  leaves  the  vows 
of  Yesterday  ? 

-  For  I  shall  make  and  break 
them  all,  again, 

When  Time  hath  taken  this 
Headache  away. 


)] 


m 


m 


a 


HAT  if  my  conscience  seem  an 

idle  joke — 
My  good  resolves  all  disappear 

in  smoke? 
This  thought   remains— and 

is  it  not  enough?— 
/   do    not   wear    the   Matrimonial 
Yoke! 


0 


S 
o 


AY !     There  is  no  one  waiting 

at  the  door, 

Whene'er  I  wander  in  at  half- 
past  four, 
No  one  to  question,  no  one  to 

accuse, 

No  one,  my  shocking  frailty  to 
deplore ! 


ro 


O  one  to  greet   me   with    her 

tear-stained  eyes, 
No  one  to  doubt  my  quaint,  fan 
tastic  lies, 
No  one  my  foolish  looks  to 

criticize— 

Ah,  but  the  knots,  the  KNOTS 
in  marriage- ties ! 


[43] 


'cg& 

'0^0 


0 


o 


CXJC 


H    Friend,   could   you    and   I, 
no  somehow,  conspire, 

To    grasp    the    Matrimonial 

Scheme  entire, 
Would  we  not  shatter  it  to 

bits— and  then, 

Make  of  its  bonds  a  rousing  Fu 
neral  Pyre? 


•e- 


o 

tA 


•>/?& 

4& 

ojur  #> 


»° 

M>°£ 


YSELF,  when  young,  did  ea 
gerly  frequent 
The  weddings  of  my  friends  on 

Bondage  bent ; 
But  evermore  thanked  Fate, 

when  I  escaped 

Scot-free,   by    that    same    door 
wherein  I  went. 


[45] 


O    N 
P 

<S2?> 


f«j 

^009!^ 

33% 


00 


^ 


I 


w 

0 


NTO  the  fatal  compact,  why 

not  knowing, 
®      I've  seen  them  go,  nor  dream 

where  they  were  going; 
Then  out  again,  with  shouts 

of  "Westward,  ho!" 
The  bitter  seeds  of  Alimony  sow 
ing! 


vOV«4b 


O 


H  well,  they  say  that,  some 
times,  side  by  side, 
A  cat  and  dog  may  peacefully 

abide. 

Perhaps— perhaps.    But  that 
is  only  when 

That  cat  and  dog  are  not  together 
tied! 


[47] 


^ 


A 


W& 

oo/4 


o 


C3C 


FT,   to   some  patient   married 
]co  man  I  turn, 

The  secret  of  his  dumb  content 

to  learn, 

But   lip-to-ear,   he   mutters, 
"Fool,  beware!" 
This  is  the  path,  whence  there  is 
no  return ! " 


BUT,  LIP-TO-EAR,  HE  MUTTERS,  "  FOOL,  BEWARE  ! " 


(J 


H,  threats  of  Hell,  and  hopes  of 

Paradise!  (vVlljl 

One   thing  is  certain— when   a      P°r\o 

^°/)M? 
£00 


Husband  dies, 


>Q 


^ 


No    wife    shall     greet    him      $ 
there  with   "Where's"   or     ^  ^Jj 


O^      Nor    mock    with    laughter    his 


most  subtle  lies! 


B°N 


w 

0 


H 


O  matter  whether  up  or  down 

he  goes, 
J3       He  neither  cares  nor  questions,  I 

suppose ; 

Since  Death  can  hold  no  bit 
terness  for  him, 

Because— because— Oh  well,  he 
knows,  HE  KNOWS ! 


OULD  you  the  spangle  of  exist 
ence  spend 
In  Matrimony  ?    Slow  about,  my 

Friend! 
A  maiden's  hair  is  more  oft 

false  than  true, 

And  on   the  chemist  may  her 
blush  depend. 


Qov 


O 


SfflSK 


o. 


C3C 


DCQ 


MAIDEN'S   hair  is  more  oft 

false  than  true ! 

Aye,  and  her  Modiste  is,  per 
chance,  the  clue, 
Could  you  but  know  it,  to 

her  sylph-like  grace, 
And,  peradventure,  to  her  Figure, 


@ 


o 


o 


HY,  for  this  NOTHING,  then, 

should  you  provoke 
The  gods,  or  lightly  don  the  gall 
ing  yoke 

Of  unpermitted  pleasure,  un 
der  pain 

Of    Alimony-until-Death,   if 
broke? 


Ouy^o! 
c&>£ 


'OBES 

*v& 


ra 

W35 

K/)°^ 

oP^oo 


0 


0    a 


HY,  when  to-day  your  bills  are 

promptly  paid, 

Assume  the  whims  of  some  ca 
pricious  maid, 
Incur  the  debts  you  never  did 

contract, 

And  yet  must  settle?  Oh,  the 
sorry  trade! 


I  SWORE— BUT  WAS  I  SOBER  WHEN  I  SWORE  ? 


o 


(0^-N<*£> 


Q&P1 


O  "settle  down  and  marry,"  oft 

of  yore, 
I  swore— but  was  I  sober  when 

I  swore? 
And  then  there  came  another 

girl— and  I 

Turned  gaily  to  the  old  Love- 
Game,  once  more. 


[59] 


C3C 


) 


ND,  much  as  I  repented  things 
]CQ  like  this, 

And  fondly  dreamed  of  sweet 

Domestic  Bliss, 
I  sometimes  wonder  what  a 

wife  can  give, 

One  half  so  thrilling  as  a  stolen 
kiss! 


a 


\_7 

Y 


ET,  if  the  hair  should  vanish 

from  my  brow, 

My  girth,  in  time,  to  great  dimen 
sions  grow— 

If  youth's   sweet-scented 
"Buds"  should  pass  me  by, 
Accounting   me  an   antiquated 
beau— 


W 

79F& 

O^oo 
£* 


0 
ra® 


0 

o 


HY  then,  some  winged  angel, 

ere  too  late- 
Some  maiden  verging  onto  twen 
ty-eight— 
Will  gladly  take  what's  left  of 

me,  I  trow, 

And,   leading    me    to  wedlock, 
thank  her  Fate ! 


§£° 

o 


OWQJ 
j-sO0' 


LAS,  for  those  who  may  to-day   1Q§%^ 

l"r\\J  -  ^V-N 

prepare 

The  wedding  trousseau  for  the 

morrow's  wear, 
A  voice    of   warning  cried, 
"There's  many  a  slip 

Betwixt  the  Altar  and  the  Soli 
taire!" 


[63] 


O 


oZp" 


oO 


o 


© 

o 


i 


coc 


]CO 


NTO  this  pact,  man  glides  like 

water  flowing, 
But  out  of  it  is  not  such  easy 

going; 

For  they,  who  once  were  sim 
ple,  guileless  things, 
In  Breach-of-Promise  lore  are 
now  more  knowing. 


WHAT  !  WOULD  YOU  CAST  A  LOVING  WOMAN  HENCE? 


o 


HAT!  VS/'ould  you  cast  a  love- 
ing  ^A/roman  hence? 


K  I]        Thou,  Fickle   One,  prepare   for 
\  \UJ\ 
Oo^d  penitence ! 

Full   many   a  golden   ducat 
shall  you  pay 

t"  ^!b    To  drown  the  memory of  such 

insolence. 


[67] 


U°/S° 
^°Acb 
oOio?) 

3Hf^ 


A 


0 


s 

ro® 


EJ 


ND  every  note,  that,  in  your 

cups,  you  write, 
In  cold  black  Type,  perchance 

shall  see  the  light ; 
While  all  the  World,  across 

its  coffee  urn, 

Shall   titter  gaily  at  the   sorry 
sight. 


0 


P 


H   yes!     For  all   the   papers, 

which  discussed 
Your  wedding  plans,  shall  turn 

your  cake  to  crust, 
Publish  your  letters  and  your 

photographs, 
And  trail  your  Egotism  in  the 


cuo1 


o 


CJ 


HE  Opera  Queens,  that  men 

have  wooed  and  won, 
Have  loved  them  for  a  while, 

and  then— anon, 
Like  snow  upon  Broadway, 

with  lightsome  "  touch," 
Annexed  their  millions,  and  alas, 
have  flown ! 


fa 


t° 


o  n 

W 

fe^o 


H  look  you,  in  the  long  and 

W 

varied  list 
Of  Millionaires  thus  rifled  and 

dismissed, 

How,   rich    man,   after    rich 
man,  bode  his  hour, 

Then  went  his  way» to  swe11  the 

golden  grist. 


0* 

raj 
w 


Q 


S 


0 


HAT  Diva's  rubies  ever  glow 

so  red 
As  when  some  Gilded  Chappie 

hath  been  bled? 
And  every  diamond  the  Show 

Girl  wears, 

Dropped  in  her  lap,  when  some 
Fool  lost  his  head. 


erip 
88?  Js 

A 


&° 

o 


ND   those  who  hung  around 

the  green-room  door, 
And  those  who  backed  the  Show 

and  paid  the  score, 
Alike,  to  no  such  "Angels" 

have  been  turned, 
As,  once  repentant,  men  feel  sor 
ry  for. 


$ 


Cl 


C3C 


H,  my  Good  Fellow,  keep  the 

cash,  that  clears 
To-day  of  unpaid  debts  and  fu 
ture  fears. 

To-morrow !     Why,    to-mor 
row,  you  may  be, 
Yourself,  with  Yesterday's  cast- 
off  millionaires. 


$ 


•e- 


o 
tr 


o 


&. 


O   f 
^o 


HEN,  make  the  most  of  what 
you  still  may  spend, 


Ere   you,  too,  into  bankruptcy     x)o*rP 


•fo^ 

w 
ol 


descend, 


v/w/"fr 

^7)O^ 

v  n  n 


0OV0~o 
Bill  upon  bill,  and  under  bill,      ^SJts K 

to  lie,  ^  ®  J 

Sans  Cash,  sans  Love,  sans  Lady      ^OA 
-What  an  end !  'WJf ^ 

******  4  ^       II   I  I 

Lfflj 


^t 

m 


oo 
^. 


I— J— • « 

w 


ASTE  not  your  evenings  in  the 

vain  pursuit 

0       Of    this    or    that    girl.     Bitter 
sweet  the  fruit ! 
Better  be  jocund  with  them, 

one  and  all, 

And  loving  many,  thus  your  love 
dilute. 


OME,  with  vivacity  have  sought 

to  charm 
Away  my  fears,  and  still  my 

soul's  alarm ; 
To  win   me   subtly,  with  a 

smile  or  sigh, 

Or  sweet  appealing  touch  upon 
the  arm. 


[77] 


o 


o 


coc 


THERS  have  tempted  me  with 

festive  cheer, 
to 

And  Chafing-dish  Concoctions, 

quaint  and  queer ; 
With  dear,  domestic  airs  have 

plied  their  arts- 
Yet,  all  their  wiles  were  neither 
there  nor  here ! 


•*^ 

fr 


o 


O 


[79] 


UT    when    Platonic   Friendship 

they  have  tried,  * ' 

Then,  to  the  gods  for  Mercy,  have 

I  cried! 
For,  in  the  Husband-hunt,  all 

other  snares 

Sink  into  Nothingness,  this  game 
beside ! 


A 


kW 
"trfgy 

sa& 


00 

& 


S 
ra® 


B 


HERE  is  the  Trap,  from  which 

you  may  not  flee ; 
There  is  the  Net,  through  which 

no  man  may  see. 
Some  jest  at "  love,"  some  talk 

of  "chums,"  and  then, 
Into  the  Consomm§,  for  thee  and 
me! 


0 


THERE  IS  THE  TRAP,  FROM  WHICH  YOU  MAY  NOT  FLEE. 


HETHER  to  Church,  or  to  the 

Magistrate, 
You  follow,  after  that,  'tis  all  too 

late! 
For,  from  your  Pipe-dream, 

you,  at  last,  shall  wake, 
A  MARRIED  MAN,  to  rail  in 
vain  at  Fate! 


O 


[83] 


P°rr 

ffiSF 

oO 


o 


CSC 


OVE,  but  the  Vision  of  a  dear 

desire ! 
Marriage,  the  Ashes,  whence  has 

fled  the  fire ! 
Cast  into  chains  which  you, 

yourself,  have  forged ! 
Caught,  like  a  sheep  upon  a  stray 
barbed  wire ! 


o 


O 


H  Thou,  who  first  the  Apple 

AO 
Tree  didst  shake, 


And  e'en  in  Eden  flirted  with 

the  Snake, 
Still,  as  in  that  first  moment 

'neath  the  Bough,  ^  MJj 

O°o° 
Dost   thou,   to-day,    of  Man   a    "oj)^ 

puppet  makel  *V?¥^ 

.°1A 

HUJ 

v«5 

i"5'  <M% 

'X 

y| 

TvZI0^ 
aOSLoo 

^ 


B 


CD 

R® 


UT  this  I  know— whether  the 

one  True  Mate, 
Or  just  some  Fluffy  Thing  with 

hook  and  bait, 
Eve-like,  tempt  me — one  flash 

of  Common  Sense, 
And  all  her  sorcery  shall  be  too 
late! 


T 


HEN,  let  her  never  look  for  me, 

again ; 
For,  once  escaped,  how  many 

moons  shall  wane, 
And  wax  and  wane  full  oft, 

while  still  she  looks 
Down  that  same  street — but  ah, 
for  ME,  in  vain! 


•9P*» 


[87] 


o 


Ci 


co: 


ET,  much  as  I  have  played  the 

Infidel, 
If,  as  the  fated  Pitcher  to  the 

Well, 
Too  oft  to  Love's  empyrean 

Font  I  stray, 

To  fall,  at  last,  beneath   some 
Siren's  spell, 


•e- 


HEN,  in  your  mercy,  Friend, 
forbear  to  smile,  ft 

And  with  the  grape  my  last  few      ^ 

t 

hours  beguile, 
Or,  let  me  in  some  Caravan- 

serie, 

My  Cynic's  soul  to  shackles  recon 
cile. 


[89] 


tiff 


°G 


A°l 

&i 


fwj 

$0?$ 
Xft00 

oOiLoo 

%y.<& 


E°A 


E 

I5k® 


ND  when,  with  me,  some  fair, 

triumphant  lass, 
Up  to  the     rose-decked    Altar- 
Rail  shall  pass, 
And,  in   her  joyous  errand, 

reach  the  spot, 

Where   we're    made   One  — oh, 
drain  a  silent  glass! 
Tamam. 


B  ^  a 

0 


0 


University  of  California 

SOUTHERN  REGIONAL  LIBRARY  FACILITY 

405  Hilgard  Avenue,  Los  Angeles,  CA  90024-1388 

Return  this  material  to  the  library 

from  which  it  was  borrowed. 


REC'D 

JAHJL4J9 
\ 

DUE  2  WKS  FROM  DAirRECEIVED 


THE  LIBKAKY 

UNIVERSITY  OF  CALiFOKNU 

LOS  ANGELES 


UC  SOUTHERN  REGIONAL  LIBRARY  FACILITY 


in  ii   mil   •     ••!     ••      ||    |     ||    |        mil      •     I  ||  1    I 

A  A      000254383    3 


